I am truly gifted. I mean it. When it comes to doing bodily harm to myself, I have a real GIFT.
Today I bought a very pretty hanging basket for the yard thinking I'd put it on the shepherd's hook (see picture below) I got a couple of years ago. But I also decided to move it from the side yard to the back yard so the plant wouldn't get beaten to death by the wind. I needed to find just the right spot because if I put actually put it IN the lawn I'd never hear the end of it from Joey. He'd have to move it to mow which would entail getting off the tractor then back on, yadda yadda yadda.
I spotted a bare patch alongside the windows and figure that might work. The first spot didn't cut it because you couldn't see the flowers from inside the house or from the patio. So I moved it about 8 feet or so.
Now, look very carefully at the hook ... see the pretty little hummingbird with the killer beak?
There's a piece of metal on bottom of the staff where you put your foot to drive the staff into the ground. It also stablizes the hook a bit. BUT. It's directly under the hummingbird.
Picture this, if you will. I bend over with my foot on the little bar and as I do so I lean into the staff. With my head directly under the hummingbird. With a mighty shove I push the staff down into the dirt and the bird's beak into my scalp all in one smooth, crunchy movement.
Well hell. Yes it did bleed a little bit. It's sore as all get out. I managed to find the wound and pulled my hair away from it (hmmm, looks like it's time for root job) and swabbed at it with alcohol soaked cotton pads. Probably oughtta soak MYSELF in some alcohol as well. I think there's still some scotch in the cupboard.
sigh.
How DO I do this stuff?
So I'm off to take an ibuoprofen or 6 and lie down with an ice pack on my head.
2:35:03 PM 
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